This is the fifth time you've been back. You've signed your death warrant. If I can't make you understand that houses are not for outside birds, I will kill you and eat you. Your cousins the chickens will rejoice, because you, their idiot relation named Jed from Missouri, finally got his, and their reputations will no longer be tarnished.
But I'll still eat chicken, too, because I couldn't live without chicken.